how to reset your brain after a dopamine binge

(get your momentum back on monday)

Sep 25, 2023

Meet Jack.

Jack is trapped in a dopamine hole.

Jack’s internal motivation system is completely fried after a weekend of dopamine binging. His menu of cheap pleasures included, and was thankfully limited to, vaping, smoking weed, eating junk food, and scrolling through infinite content (of varying potencies.)

Jack does not have a willpower problem. He is not a weak person. In fact, throughout the entire week prior to the photograph you see above, Jack followed a powerful daily routine: he woke up 6 AM to complete 2 hours of focused work, he exercised every day, he cooked and ate healthy food, read self improvement literature before bed, and consciously replaced his screen-time with meaningful creative practices. He was absolutely crushing it.

So what the f*** happened???

How did he lose the plot and end up in a cheap dopamine spiral that’s left him feeling chemically depleted and utterly unmotivated on Monday morning?

Let’s leave this question to brew for just a moment.

Before we understand WHY this happened to poor Jack, we have to help Jack climb out of the dopamine hole he finds himself trapped in.

(If you’re being attacked by a bear, you don’t reflect on WHY it’s happening. You get out of there as fast as you can and investigate the root causes when you have a not-so-deadly vantage point.)

Ok Jack. Stay calm. We’re gonna get you out of there buddy.

First step: Jack needs to build a stairway of simple tasks.

Climbing out of a dopamine hole is as simple as rebooting your sense of motivation by completing tiny, itty bitty, eensy weensy tasks that create 0.05% positive momentum.

Tasks like:

•Standing up

•Making your bed

•Brushing your teeth

•Changing your clothes

•Putting literally one piece of dirty laundry in the laundry basket

•Putting dishes in the sink (not even doing the dishes, just relocating them)

These tasks are NOT major life goals. They are not “important.”

They need to be super easy and take less than 30 seconds each so you can stack 3-5 of them as quickly as possible. They need to be near effortless so you can overcome the mental friction of dopamine-binge-induced lethargy.

So this is exactly what Jack does.

Jack stands up from the couch. Win #1. He takes a breath. Win #2. He throws the remnants of his deep dish pizza in the trash and places his plate in the sink. Win #3. He heads to the bathroom and turns on the shower. Win #4. He brushes his teeth (for 30 seconds) while the shower heats up. Win #5. He gets in the shower. Win #6.

This took Jack less than 2.5 minutes. And he stacked 6 wins back to back. Just like that, the snowball of positive momentum is rolling again.

He didn’t “put his whole life together.” He still has most of the same problems he did from the couch. But he FEELS like someone who’s moving in the right direction again. All from doing the bare bare bare minimum.

After his shower, Jack is starting to feel a lot better. Which is why he’s now ready to move on to stage 2:

Reflecting on the Abyss.

The single greatest defense we have against negative unconscious habits is awareness. We need to understand what triggered us to fall into a cheap dopamine spiral. Mindfulness is the antidote to mindlessness. It seems obvious, but it’s difficult for Jack because it’s uncomfortable to look into the abyss of your own psychology.

So tell us Jack — why did you fall into a dopamine hole after having a great, super productive, focused, momentum-generating week of progress?

Jack:

“Well, it was Friday afternoon. And for the first time all week, I had nothing left to do. The work was finished. T’s were crossed and I’s were dotted. Suddenly, I had all this unstructured free time that I had no idea what to do with. Pretty quickly, I found myself feeling really bored. Bored and anxious. So I invited a couple friends over. They happened to have some smoking treats with them and I chose to indulge with them — as a reward for being so dialed in all week.

After I started, it was really hard to stop. I had all this tension built up from being hyper-controlling and restrictive over the last week and I just kind of let loose. The next morning, the only thing I wanted to do was to keep fulfilling those impulses. The cycle repeated, the hole got deeper and deeper until the next thing I knew it was Monday morning and I was a zombie.”

Thanks for your honesty Jack. That was remarkably transparent and articulate.

A few key takeaways here:

The first threat to Jack’s momentum came from boredom and anxiety. These feelings are extremely uncomfortable and easy to dilute with cheap dopamine sources.
The second (and underlying) threat to Jack’s momentum came from his restrictive mindset. He stretched the rubber band too far — until it snapped.
Once the rubber band snapped, the intensity of Jack’s dopamine binging was equivalent to the intensity of his “healthy lifestyle” the week prior.

Now that he’s courageously gazed into the abyss, Jack is prepared for a week of positive momentum that doesn’t end in a dopamine hole.

He can plan to engage in a fun hobby on Friday afternoon when work is finished so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed with unplanned boredom and anxiety.

He can work to apply a more relaxed, easy-going approach to his positive habits in the next week so he doesn’t hyper-restrict himself. By following his sense of natural enjoyment, he can be less of a boot camp instructor and more of a regular human (who exercises regularly and focuses on important work.)

Armed with knowledge to protect against future dopamine holes, Jack is ready for stage three:

Conscious Reconditioning

Now Jack has to do hard things again.

He has to go back to work. He has to settle back into his exercise routine. He has to go grocery shopping and meal prep for the week. He has to keep moving forward.

These tasks are harder than brushing teeth, getting dressed, and putting literally one piece of laundry in the laundry basket.

So Jack has to move at a gradual pace: he has to mindfully re-expose himself to the difficult, progress-generating tasks in a way that empowers him without burning him out. This means accepting the fact he might move at a slower pace this week.

He has to closely watch his emotions (based on stage two) to make sure he’s not overextending himself as he “gets back on track.”

This is arguably the hardest stage of all. Jack has to simultaneously push himself out of his comfort zone again while also holding himself back from doing too much too fast.

There’s no one right way to do this. But success only becomes guaranteed when Jack commits himself to stage four:

Integrating focus-aligned pleasures

Last week, Jack didn’t have enough fun. That’s why he crashed so hard on Friday.

This week, he’s going to strategically implement joyful activities that help him unwind throughout the week without derailing his momentum. AKA good dopamine.

Good dopamine sources like:

•Reading fiction

•Listening to great music

•Exploring natural areas nearby

•Spending quality time with friends + family

•Enjoying long form entertainment (movies + series)

By combining these healthy (and simple) pleasures into Jack’s lifestyle of forward motion, he’s able to sustain his momentum and ensure his energy balance is net positive.

Now — Jack is ready for the week ahead.

He doesn’t beat himself up for losing focus temporarily. He accepts what happened and actively chooses to love himself AND his imperfections. He reminds himself of his meaningful goal and all the progress he’s already made. And he stands back up.

Jack is excited.

He smiles to himself and looks forward to the rest of Monday.

He’s going to have a great day.

And he hopes you do too.

Thanks for reading!

You deserve an incredible day, week, month, year, and life — no matter where you’re at in your journey right this moment.

If you find yourself struggling today and need some more personalized support…

Here’s how I can help:

Work with me 1:1 to reclaim your focus and consciously design a meaningful life in the age of digital distraction…

Check out the short video I made on the exact process I just laid out so you can apply it your own life: