15 Comments
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Jahnabi Pathak's avatar

Wow. Oof. This was such a hard read. Firstly, because this is the most relatable thing I read today and it's way too honest. 😭 Secondly, Josh do you live inside my head? Because wtf.

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Josh Czuba's avatar

hehehehe

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Kayla Pin's avatar

Josh, thank you so much for this post! I imagine in a different timeline this mightve not ever been published but dang wow it was like putting a mirror to my brain. I'm living in a similar mode right now and it's comforting to feel not alone in it and to engage in some writing that just resonates with where my brain has been at. Thank you! Thank you for capturing your experience in words. I really appreciate your content.

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Jake's avatar

This is a masterpiece. I normally have a hard time reading things all the way through but this. This is a work of art. One day you're gonna wake up and know exactly what to do. Your gonna be working towards something extremely meaningful that gives you purpose and escaping the present moment with food or porn or whatever wont be something you want to do. Keep going. You have a special gift and the world needs what you can bring to it. Also come back to Austin :)

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Reverie M.'s avatar

Something funny happened while I was reading this, I felt like I was floating 👀

I've been there. One might think that getting a job is the solution but that will just distract you for a few hours and the same thing will happen when you're home (talking from experience here), probably because there needs to be a shift of perspective.

What I've come to realize is that all that internal turmoil is necessary to learn from it. To learn how to balance your life, your hobbies, your daily activities and find the peace and joy you seek outside of you within you.

And whether we like to acknowledge it or not, it is necessary for spiritual growth.

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Parikshita Goswami's avatar

"The perpetual modern death of the soul." You putting this current state of mind and this stagnant deterioration into words makes us feel less alone in this experience. Thank you for that.

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tea's avatar

This is completely relatable. I was in a similar place, too, for most of my life. I swear you can't think yourself out of it. The only way to feel like a human is to *do* something. The suburbs and your parents' home are eating away at your soul (they did for me, at least)

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kelsey's avatar

" I should just write a book. I think it would be brilliant. I think other people would think it would be brilliant. I can imagine what people would say about it, about me. "This is really fresh." "

yes

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Czuba Frank's avatar

This is really fresh! For the record, (I’m the quietest person in the communities i spend my time in.)

Seriously, writing about what is real in our lives without masks, with vulnerability takes guts and it’s really the only stuff that’s worth reading. Thanks for being real.

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John Flynn's avatar

Duuuuude yeah. Go move to a city and find work of some sort. Living at home can become unbearable sometimes - I know how it is. I feel like we would get along...

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Stefano Miele's avatar

Awesome man, my lesson is get the fuck out of your parents home. I've been back for two months and the comfort is killing me.

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Tanya's avatar

!!!!

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Candy's avatar

Goodness me this lit a spark

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Arsh Kaur's avatar

Get a notebook and a pen and write your novel by hand. You can do this. The desire to write the story was planted in you for a reason. I feel you. I want to say words that will sooth you. But I can't. Only you can save yourself.

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Isabella's avatar

I’m really glad you shared this

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